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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

If they played poker with potato chips, Iโ€™d have a gambling problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Boy, did The Shining nail what itโ€™s like being an only child.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but Iโ€™m not about to listen to a drunk whoโ€™s talking to himself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Trending via WeChat:

Adding โ€œscroll for two hoursโ€ to my To-Do list, so I wonโ€™t do it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate to brag, but Iโ€™ve been the biggest mistake of numerous peopleโ€™s lives.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Reported on Telegram:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If overthinking burned calories, Iโ€™d never need to exercise again.

Seen just now on X:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.
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Commentary:
"Who needs existential crisis when you have a hangry stomach throwing a tantrum?! ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿคฃ Remember, a fulfilling life starts with a full plate!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

The future is buffering.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Authentic isnโ€™t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Iโ€™m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

โ€œYou win some. You lose some.โ€ Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Discord:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said โ€œnext time it will be youโ€.

Just shared via YouTube:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, Iโ€™m mad that we donโ€™t have any junk food.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Trending via X:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Going viral on YouTube:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and Iโ€™m tired of all the gaslighting.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

In my 20s: Iโ€™m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

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