Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Spotted on Messenger:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Just landed via Slack:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Messenger:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

4 weeks ago

Clever joke about friendship and communication with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻‍♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals"

arrest, arrested, call, communication, humor, ig, IG story, jail, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, phone call, should, social, social media, story

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

25 shares on Discord this month:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Trending via Threads:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Seen just now on Threads:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Seen just now on Threads:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Breaking via Messenger:

How is it still this week?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

I would like even faster food.

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I would like even faster food.

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨