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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Going viral on X:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Making waves on YouTube:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

0
You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻‍♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

36 shares on Slack this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Going viral on Slack:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Freshly posted on Threads:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Trending via WeChat:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

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