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"Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals"
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You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

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Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
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Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.
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