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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

32 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Breaking via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Going viral on Threads:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Live now on Twitch:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Shared recently on WeChat:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

5 months ago

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

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Commentary:
Ah, the tumultuous twenties – a time for making questionable decisions and questionable fashion choices! 🤪 It's the decade of discovering who you are by pretending to be someone you're not, all while surviving on a diet of ramen noodles and broken dreams. 🍜💔 Just remember, it's all part of the grand masterpiece that is adulthood! 🎨 #LivingTheTwentiesDream

betraying, choices, crisis, destroying, existential, existential crisis, humor, life, life choices, nothing, self, twenty, yourself, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

32 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Live now on Discord:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Breaking via Reddit:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Just shared via X:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

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