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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

20 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Making waves on Instagram:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Trending via Snapchat:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Spotted on YouTube:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Live now on Facebook:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Reported on Twitch:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Trending via TikTok:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

11 out of 10 women are always right.

6 months ago

11 out of 10 women are always right.

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Commentary:
Well, if 11 out of 10 women are always right, then there must be some serious mathematical magic happening there! 🤔🌟 Who knew that the laws of probability could be bent so effortlessly by the powers of women's intuition and wisdom? 🧙‍♀️💁‍♀️ Sounds like the perfect formula for a harmonious household – just nod and smile, gentlemen! 😄👩‍🦰👵 #GirlPower

always, confidence, humor, opinion, relationship, right, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

20 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via Telegram:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Breaking via Facebook:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

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