50+ Funny Date Jokes That’ll Make Romantic Moments Hilarious

New funny date jokes

• Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

• Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

• Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

• First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

• We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

• I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

• Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

• You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

• Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

• That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Top funny date jokes

• I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

• “The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

• I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

• 69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

• Back to the Future and chill?

• A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

• First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

• You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

• Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

• First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Popular funny date jokes

• First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

• Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

• Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

• “November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

• Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

• The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

• I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

• It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

• If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

• Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

More funny date jokes

• Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

• First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

• The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

• “Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

• Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

• Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

• Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

• Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

• Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

• There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Witty date jokes

• Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

• The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

• Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

• Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

• Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

• Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

• The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

• Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

• With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

• May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.