New funny love quotes

• You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

• I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

• I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

• Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

• I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

• I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

• When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

• If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

• I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

• I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Top funny love quotes

• The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

• How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

• There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

• Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

• I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

• Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

• What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

• I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

• I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

• I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Popular funny love quotes

• Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

• High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

• Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

• I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

• I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

• I love when lashes make me look evil.

• I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

• I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

• You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

• Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

More funny love quotes

• Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

• I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

• Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

• If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

• I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

• Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

• In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

• I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

• I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

• Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Witty love quotes

• Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

• Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

• On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

• Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

• I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

• I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

• He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

• I love it when God gives me money.

• Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

• I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Funny love quotes remind us that no matter how serious love feels 💖, there’s always room for laughter 😂. From inside jokes 🤭 to playful teasing 😜, humor keeps relationships light and strong 💪. These quotes celebrate the goofy, imperfect, and completely relatable side of being in love 💞. Share them with your sweetheart 💌, your friends 👯‍♀️, or just enjoy a good laugh at love’s little absurdities 🤣 — because romance is way more fun when you don’t take it too seriously!