50+ Funny Person Quotes That Prove We’re All A Little Bit Ridiculous

New funny person quotes

• Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

• Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

• Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

• Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

• It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

• Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

• Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

• There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

• Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

• Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Top funny person quotes

• You’re like if “nope” was a person.

• I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

• The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

• I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

• We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

• A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

• The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

• I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

• That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Popular funny person quotes

• I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

• I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

• I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

• If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

• I have the bruises of a much more active person.

• For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

• Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

• Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

• I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

• “Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

More funny person quotes

• You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

• Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

• You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

• Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

• Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

• Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

• You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

• You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

• I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Witty person quotes

• I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

• The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

• The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

• Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

• Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

• Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

• Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

• Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

• Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

• Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Funny person quotes remind us that being human means being full of quirks, odd habits, and hilarious slip-ups 😂. Whether you’re the organized one 📅, the always-late one ⏰, or the “just here for the snacks” person 🍕, we all bring our own brand of comedy to the table 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever thought, “Wow, I really am that person” 🙃. So embrace your weirdness, laugh at the nonsense, and enjoy the wonderfully funny person you are 🤪!