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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Trending via X:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Making waves on Threads:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Going viral on Twitch:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Live now on Pinterest:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Back in the 90s, scientists were all about cloning sheep 🐑, landing robots on Mars 🚀, and making major breakthroughs. Now in 2021, they're stuck explaining to flat earthers that yes, the Earth is indeed round 🌍. Oh, how the tables have turned! 🔄😂"

90s, cloning, Earth, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, last, Mars, robot, round, science, scientists, sheep, time, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Trending via Snapchat:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Trending via Discord:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Making waves on WeChat:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

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