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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Making waves on X:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Just landed via Telegram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Spotted on TikTok:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Making waves on Telegram:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

2 months ago

0

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Back in the 90s, scientists were all about cloning sheep 🐑, landing robots on Mars 🚀, and making major breakthroughs. Now in 2021, they're stuck explaining to flat earthers that yes, the Earth is indeed round 🌍. Oh, how the tables have turned! 🔄😂"

90s, cloning, Earth, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, last, Mars, robot, round, science, scientists, sheep, time, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

0

2 months ago

alone, bro, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, hell, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, me, social, social interaction, work
How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

0

2 months ago

amount, change, confusion, days, humor, money, rent, same, where
Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, irony, just, problem, self-awareness, solution, whole
Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

0

2 months ago

ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, fingers, gesture, haircut, humor, i, know, mean, misunderstanding, motion, salon, scissors

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

24 shares on Threads this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,790

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Spotted on Reddit:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Trending via Threads:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Just shared via Facebook:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

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