There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.