Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.
  • The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.
  • I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.
  • “My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.
  • I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
  • Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.