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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

9 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just shared via Discord:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Spotted on Threads:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Jan 25, 2025

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here's a rom-com idea truly fit for a monster movie makeover: "Gozilla +1"! 🦖👔👰 Picture this – Godzilla receives a wedding invite and decides to brave the human world, but faces the ultimate dilemma: finding a plus one willing to brave the chaos of a monster's love life! Will Godzilla's scales find a spark amidst the tulle and tears, or will the wedding bells just ring for party-crashing? Tune in for a tale of

awkwardness, convince, date, Godzilla, humor, idea, invite, monster, plus, plus one, relationship, rom-com, struggle, struggles, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

9 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Trending via YouTube:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Seen just now on Facebook:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Seen just now on Slack:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Breaking via YouTube:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Just landed via Instagram:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

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