Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.
  • This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.
  • Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.
  • When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.
  • Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.
  • “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.