Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.