Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Trending via Pinterest:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Trending via Telegram:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Playful quote about pretending to be sick to avoid work duties.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, excuse me while I dial up some drama for tomorrow! 📞🤢 Can't wait to see the reactions when I 'soft launch' my call out the 'stomach bug' way. Your move, stomach… Your move. 🤣 #SneakyCallOutStrategies"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

45 shares on X this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

85 shares on Reddit this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-cleaning conscience.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Trending via Threads:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Live now on Facebook:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Spotted on Slack:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Going viral on Threads:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Making waves on WeChat:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

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