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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

46 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Seen just now on Slack:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Breaking via Reddit:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Making waves on Slack:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Just shared via Threads:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Just shared via YouTube:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

6 months ago

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

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Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️

diet, exercise, humor, option, Ozempic, poor, secret, strict, third, too, undisciplined

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

46 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Just landed via Discord:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Making waves on Facebook:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Going viral on X:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

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