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My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

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Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

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Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

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The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

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I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

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Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

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Rich people go to parties. Itโ€™s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

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Canโ€™t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

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At what age do I delete Snapchat?

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I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

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Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Commentary:
๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸŽ‰ Oh, the circle of life! Just when we think we've got it all figured out, the universe kindly reminds us that we were just tiny potatoes in a much larger stew of life's absurdity a year ago. Here's to another year of growing, learning, and looking back at our former selves like, "Wow, an actual potato had more sense than me back then!" ๐Ÿฅ”๐Ÿค“



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