Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.
  • Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.
  • I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
  • The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.
  • Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?
  • When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.