Someone from has shared:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from has shared:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from has viewed:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from has bookmarked:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from has downloaded:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from has shared:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from has bookmarked:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.