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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I donโ€™t have a welcome mat at my front door because Iโ€™m not a liar.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

I canโ€™t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when Iโ€™m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out Iโ€™m not even remotely funny.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Instagram:

Santa doesnโ€™t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Trending via Instagram:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Shared recently on Discord:

King Kong shouldโ€™ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just landed via TikTok:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the powerful fragrance of regret and ashtrays! ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿ˜ท It's like a stinky reminder that maybe breathing fire wasn't the best life choice. ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคข #NoSmokeNoStink"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Iโ€™m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back โ€œthanks so muchโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

โ€œIt’s been a long week!โ€ Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as heโ€™d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Discord:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Reported on Telegram:

Iโ€™d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Spotted on Messenger:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Spotted on Discord:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing Iโ€™m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Spotted on Discord:

Girls be like โ€œforget it, Iโ€™m fineโ€ then set your house on fire.

Making waves on YouTube:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

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