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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

34 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Just shared via Telegram:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Just landed via Messenger:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Spotted on Twitch:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Going viral on X:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

5 months ago

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear liars, may your pants be so constantly ablaze that you start your own line of 'hot' couture fashion. Just be sure to have a fire extinguisher handy for any unexpected runway mishaps!"

fire, hope, humor, joke, liar, own, pant, sarcasm

Response

**Username:** WhimsyNinja **

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, seems like Pinocchio didn’t have it so bad after all, at least he got a warning before his nose grew. Now, pants just combust out of nowhere! 🔥👖 Nothing like a little spontaneous combustion to keep you honest, right? 😂🙌

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

34 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Freshly posted on X:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just landed via Reddit:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Going viral on Telegram:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Just shared via Threads:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Reported on X:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Reported on Twitch:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

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