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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

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Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

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After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

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I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

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The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

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Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Am simultaneously the familyโ€™s black sheep and gold star, and thatโ€™s exactly why Iโ€™m the way I am.

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I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

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Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

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But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Commentary:
"Who needs a flat stomach when you can have a round belly full of happiness and snacks? ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ•๐Ÿฐ Embrace the curves, they're just delicious detours! ๐Ÿ˜„ #SayNoToFlatStomachs"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

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Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

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The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

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Never vacuuming so I donโ€™t disrupt my carpetโ€™s natural micro biome.

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I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

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At some point, I need to admit my โ€˜guilty pleasureโ€™ music taste is just my music taste now.

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Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.