Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.
  • I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”
  • Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.
  • Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?
  • I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.
  • I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.