New funny something quotes

• Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

• Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

• My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

• Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

• Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

• I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

• Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

• When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

• Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

• A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Top funny something quotes

• I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

• I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

• People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

• I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

• I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

• Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

• The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

• My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

• Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

• Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Popular funny something quotes

• Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

• You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

• Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

• They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

• I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

• Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

• A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

• The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

• Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

• Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

More funny something quotes

• Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

• I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

• A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

• Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

• No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

• Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

• “Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

• Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

• When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

• Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Witty something quotes

• I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

• If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

• “Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

• Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

• Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

• I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

• Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

• Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

• I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

• Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Funny something quotes remind us that behind every “something” is a story that’s probably a little embarrassing and a lot funny 🤣. Whether it’s forgetting something important 🤷‍♂️, buying something you didn’t need 🛒, or promising you’ll do something later (but never do) 🙃, life is full of these moments. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s always got something going on — even if they’re not quite sure what it is 🤪. So embrace the mystery, laugh at the randomness, and enjoy every silly something life offers 😆!