Funny something quotes celebrate the wonderfully vague and endlessly funny way we describe life’s random moments 🤪. From “I need to do something” 🙃 to “something weird just happened” 🤯, something always seems to be going on — and usually in the most hilarious way 😂. These quotes capture the awkward, unexpected, and downright bizarre situations we stumble into without even trying. Get ready to laugh at all the crazy “somethings” life throws your way 😄!
New funny something quotes
- I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.
- There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.
- Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?
- Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.
- If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.
- My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
- 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
- This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.
- All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.
- Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.
Top funny something quotes
- I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.
- Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.
- If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.
- Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”
- My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.
- When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.
- If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.
- Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”
- Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.
- Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.
Popular funny something quotes
- Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”
- Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.
- Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”
- If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.
- Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.
- Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.
- You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.
- You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.
- I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?
- The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.
More funny something quotes
- I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.
- When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.
- I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?
- Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.
- They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.
- Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.
- Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.
- If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.
- I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.
- Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.
Witty something quotes
- My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.
- There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.
- I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.
- I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
- Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.
- I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.
- Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.
- The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”
- Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”
- It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.
Funny something quotes remind us that behind every “something” is a story that’s probably a little embarrassing and a lot funny 🤣. Whether it’s forgetting something important 🤷♂️, buying something you didn’t need 🛒, or promising you’ll do something later (but never do) 🙃, life is full of these moments. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s always got something going on — even if they’re not quite sure what it is 🤪. So embrace the mystery, laugh at the randomness, and enjoy every silly something life offers 😆!