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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Spotted on X:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Breaking via WeChat:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Spotted on Threads:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Seen just now on Slack:

Relationship status: he escaped.

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?
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Commentary:
"Well, at least my conversations have perfect grammar now! 🤖💌😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Live now on TikTok:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spotted on Instagram:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

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