…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

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Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

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My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

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Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

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Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

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I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

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I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

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I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

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So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.