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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

8 hours ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Spotted on Facebook:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on Twitch:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.
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Commentary:
Brain's out of snacks again! 🍿🤔 Guess it's time to restock on wisdom! 📚😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

8 hours ago

Users Online

3,458

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Spotted on TikTok:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Breaking via Slack:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Freshly posted on Slack:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Trending via Twitch:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

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