‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.