The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

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Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

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Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

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Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

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Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

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I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

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Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

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If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

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Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

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Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

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Trying is the first step toward failure.