Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.