Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

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I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

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Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

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Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

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Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

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I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

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I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

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Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.