I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from has bookmarked:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from has viewed:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from has viewed:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from has downloaded:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.