Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.