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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

23 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Trending via Discord:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Making waves on WeChat:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

6 months ago

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn't it be fun to have a 'What if I ate the whole thing' section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories"

eating, food, humor, i, labels, nutrition, section, thing, whole, whole thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

23 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Going viral on Twitch:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Spotted on Facebook:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

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