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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Spotted on TikTok:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Shared recently on Threads:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Making waves on Slack:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Seen just now on Discord:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

3 weeks ago

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

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Commentary:
🎉 TGIF! Time to take out the trash… both literally and figuratively! 😂 Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure… or in this case, just plain trash. Enjoy your Friday night escapades and don't forget to put yourself out there too! 🗑️💃 #TGIF #TrashTalk

activity, back, chores, Friday, fun, fun activity, garbage, go out, humor, i, right, weekend

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

3,933

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Spotted on Slack:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Shared recently on X:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just shared via Threads:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Spotted on Discord:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Making waves on Instagram:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

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