Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.
  • My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.
  • Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.
  • You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.
  • Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.
  • I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?