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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

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Pirate: walks the plank. Someoneโ€™s dad: Is this teak?

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Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say Iโ€™ve got something to post.

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I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

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And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

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Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

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I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

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I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

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Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

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I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Commentary:
"Dressing to impress the couch, runway ready in my finest sweatpants! ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ƒ Who says you can't be both trendy and comfortable? #SweatpantsModelGoals"



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