Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Spotted on Messenger:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Making waves on TikTok:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Going viral on Telegram:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Bee-lieve it or not, they're always buzzing with greatness! 🐝👏😄

appreciation, bee, beekeepers, big, hero, humor, profession, shoutout, sting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

0

2 months ago

bottom, humor, life, life struggles, perspective, refreshing, resilience, rock, rock bottom, struggles
AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, AI, always, friend, humor, joke, relationship, support, technology, terrible
I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

0

2 months ago

25, Aldi, bargain, behavior, believe, buy, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, deal, even, good, humor, i, impulse, impulse buy, just, pass, shopping, shopping cart, still, too, unexpected, unexpected use
An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

0

2 months ago

adventure, cure, dragon, escapism, fantasy, fun, humor, me, whimsy
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

0

4 months ago

acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear
Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

0

2 months ago

ahead, everyone, handle, health, humor, insomnia, mental, mental health, night, overthinking, procrastination, self-awareness, sleep, stay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on TikTok this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

61 shares on Instagram this month:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Just landed via Instagram:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Live now on X:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Shared recently on Discord:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Just landed via Slack:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨