Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?