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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Spotted on Telegram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Just landed via TikTok:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Live now on Snapchat:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Witty quote about marriage and shoe obsession, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even Prince Charming wasn't ready for the real Solesmate hunt! 👠🤵 Who knew glass slippers came with a hefty shoe closet too? Time for some sole-searching, Prince! 😄🏰

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

35 shares on X this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

62 shares on X this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

58 shares on X this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Just shared via Messenger:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Spotted on X:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Trending via Pinterest:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Just landed via Messenger:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

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