A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

19 shares on Threads this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

53 shares on Threads this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.