A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?