Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.
  • Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.
  • Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.
  • You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?
  • Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.
  • I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.