About to form my very first opinion.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

55 shares on Threads this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

36 shares on Threads this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”