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Commentary:
"Aliens: 'We come in peace to overthrow your leaders.' Us: 'Wait, which leaders? We got snacks and drinks ready for this party! 🛸🎉👽 #AlienTakeover'"

alien, aliens, confused, extraterrestrial, help, humor, invasion, leaders, offer, overthrow, reaction, show, stoked, super

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They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

1 month ago

bed, constant, constant roll, funny idea, gas, gas station, hotdog, humor, idea, invention, over, roll, rolls, should, station, tanning, tanning bed
I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

1 month ago

add, budgeting, expenses, finance, having, humor, i, irony, manage, management, money, money management, myself, pride, proud, self, self pride, still
8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

1 month ago

activity, career, employment, gap, humor, job, job search, just, karate, resume, search, skills, year
Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

1 month ago

crush, existence, humor, life, philosophy, thinking, weight
Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

2 months ago

actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want
I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

2 months ago

adult, adulting, bring, carefree, dog, floor, humor, i, just, lying, lying down, me, pet, procrastination, relaxation, snacks, sun, today, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

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I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Just shared via X:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

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Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

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Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

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Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

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