An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.