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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2044 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,206

Funny Quotes Topics

14,957

Funny Quotes Images

12,206

1 minute ago

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Trending via Pinterest:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Spotted on TikTok:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Just shared via Facebook:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Going viral on Facebook:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Breaking via WeChat:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Trending via TikTok:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

6 months ago

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if the 'year-end bonus' is hiding in the room, I hope it's planning to reveal itself soon because we could all use a surprise appearance like that! 🕵️‍♂️💸✨ Who knows, maybe it's just waiting for the perfect dramatic entrance! 🎭🎉"

bonus, humor, joke, money, right, room, sarcasm, us, workplace, year-end

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2044 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,206

Funny Quotes Topics

14,957

Funny Quotes Images

12,206

1 minute ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Making waves on Reddit:

In banana years, I am bread.

Making waves on X:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Making waves on Twitch:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Reported on Pinterest:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Reported on Telegram:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Making waves on Twitch:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

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