Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Trending via Facebook:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Spotted on WeChat:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Trending via Discord:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Trending via YouTube:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Live now on X:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Making waves on Discord:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Live now on Facebook:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Playful quote about delaying suitcases with a humorous twist on manual smashing.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of modern technology! 🧳💥 Hand-smashed suitcases, the latest trend in travel destruction. Who needs efficiency when you've got good ol' elbow grease, right? 😅 #TravelStruggles"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

18 shares on X this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

47 shares on Discord this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

87 shares on Threads this month:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Breaking via YouTube:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Going viral on Reddit:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Trending via Facebook:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Just shared via Telegram:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

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