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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

3 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Just landed via YouTube:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Going viral on YouTube:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Live now on YouTube:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Trending via X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Going viral on TikTok:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Just shared via Discord:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

6 months ago

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old dad joke ritual of leaf-raking banter! 🍂😄 A classic way to bond with your neighbor over yard work, and maybe sneak in a subtle request for some leaf-raking assistance! 😉🍁 Just remember to always add a dash of playful humor to your chores to keep things light and fun! 🤣🏡 #DadJokes #LeafRakingFun

activity, ask, chores, dad, fun, fun activity, humor, leaf, mine, neighbor, next, parenting, raking, required

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2075 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,237

Funny Quotes Topics

14,981

Funny Quotes Images

12,237

3 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Just shared via Instagram:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Spotted on Facebook:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Going viral on Telegram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Spotted on Instagram:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Just landed via Reddit:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

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