Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Trending via Slack:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Trending via Snapchat:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Going viral on Messenger:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Spotted on Messenger:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Spotted on Facebook:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Seen just now on Threads:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

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As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of brainless chatter! 🧠💬 Social media: where talking without thinking is a superpower! 🤳😂 #NoBrainNoProblem"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

60 shares on X this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when lashes make me look evil.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Going viral on X:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Spotted on Slack:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Making waves on Threads:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Just landed via Slack:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Going bananas on X:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

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