Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.
  • Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.
  • One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
  • When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
  • Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.
  • Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.