Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Trending via YouTube:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Shared recently on X:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Spotted on Discord:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Live now on Messenger:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Trending via Threads:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

3 weeks ago

Witty text about urgency with a playful LGBTQ+ twist, humorous and lighthearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sapphically speaking, I'm operating at maximum capacity! 🌈🙌

acronym, ASAP, humor, LGBTQ, sapphic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

3 weeks ago

2, call, couple, date, dinner, food, humor, i, nasty, romantic, romantic dinner, sarcasm
It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

3 weeks ago

advice, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, early, early start, humor, life, life advice, making, never, procrastination, start, too
My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

4 weeks ago

aspiration, crime, day, detective, humor, murder, mystery, solve, train, whodunit
Hang in there, it gets worse.

3 weeks ago

encouragement, hang, humor, motivation, pessimism, sarcasm, worse
Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

1 month ago

comedy, CVS, fairy, fairy tale, humor, let, Rapunzel, receipt, shopping, tale
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

1 month ago

bacon, bake, cook, cooky, culinary, food, funny observation, humor, language, observation, wordplay

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

62 shares on Threads this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

11 shares on X this month:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Making waves on Reddit:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Keep the laugh going 😂

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨