Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Seen just now on Threads:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Trending via Discord:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Just landed via TikTok:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sapphically speaking, I'm operating at maximum capacity! 🌈🙌

acronym, ASAP, humor, LGBTQ, sapphic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

3 months ago

energy, humor, lazy, mode, power, power saving, relaxation, saving
Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

2 months ago

alone, attitude, candle, candle in the wind, humor, independence, just, leave, life, living, man, me, personal, personal space, space, wind
Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

2 months ago

date, ghost, Halloween, humor, illegal, law, relationship, upset
Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

2 months ago

am, call, early, early hour, hour, humor, just, mean, media, morning, phone, posts, privacy, routine, sarcasm, sharing, social, social media, wake, wake up
Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

2 months ago

advice, ask, decision making, friends, going, humor, original, plan, procrastination, strategy
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

2 months ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

87 shares on Twitch this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Broadcasted on X:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Breaking via Slack:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Live now on Threads:

My recliner and I go way back.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Making waves on Threads:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spotted on Slack:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨