At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.