Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"In showbiz, landing a big break can either skyrocket your career 🚀 or send you straight to the chiropractor for a new hip! 🕺💼 Better watch your step (and your dance moves) as you chase success! 💫💃"

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

0

5 months ago

communication, dating, dumb, humor, i, intelligence, know, loud, me, modern, modern dating, nude, nudes, outdated, reading, send, video
Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, marriage, night, phone, relationship, ring, sleep, wake
Living la vida taco!

0

2 months ago

food, humor, LA, life, living, phrase, pun, taco, vida
I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

0

2 months ago

done, finance, food, humor, i, irresponsibility, irresponsible, kids, parenting, sushi, thing, think
We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

0

2 months ago

around, clumsiness, embarrassment, funny moment, idiocy, idiots, jump, knickers, least, malfunction, moment, once, playful, room, t, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

0

2 months ago

endurance, humor, know, listening, minutes, never, patience, runs, story, strength, strong, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Half princess, half menace.

19 shares on X this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

77 shares on Slack this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Just shared via YouTube:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Breaking via TikTok:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Spotted on Telegram:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Living la vida taco!

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨